


Tidal

by pastrysmiles



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: BoyxBoy, F/M, Facing Your Fears, GirlxBoy, M/M, Payzer, water phobia, ziam, zouis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-11
Updated: 2013-12-12
Packaged: 2018-01-04 09:29:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1079343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastrysmiles/pseuds/pastrysmiles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam is completely, and undoubtedly in love with the ocean. He takes walks on the beach every night before retreating to bed and when he can't clear his mind. There's just something about the salty and cool air at night that soothes his being. The only problem is, he's terrified of the water.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Ocean of Seemingly Boring Events

**Author's Note:**

> Just trying out this idea I had..  
> Let me know if I should continue?

The waves crash and land on the white sand, bleached by the night and the moon shinning proudly above. The stars are high and happily speckling the black sky with glimmers of light, sparkles and childish fairy tales of far away lands where you're trapped within a child's youth. As my feet sink into the cool sand, my shoes dangling loosely from my fingers, I think about all that's happened in the past two years. I've moved from the United Kingdom to Florida, having been asked to transfer out to the Florida leg for the publishing house I worked for; they had been under some great financial planning problems, and I being good at my job, had been asked to move. I had happily obliged since the normally gloomy weather of England was more of a bore and plain sight to me compared to the sunny skies and sparkling ocean water. I had always planned to move out of the United Kingdom to some place where the ocean was always lapping at sand, though I had never expected it would be because of my job. My pay had also been raised for being willing to move, and with the extra money, I have been able to fly my family each year out to Florida for some Christmas tanning. A month or two after moving to Florida, one of my co-workers invited me to a mini concert on the beach, ironically it had been held on the beach just beside my apartment building. The concert was for some local bands, but the event had hired real dancers. From the moment the dancers had stepped out on stage to jump around, a petite brunette with wildly curly had caught my eye. Her dancing was fluid and elegant, she had my attention captured from the moment she did her first twirl onto the stage. After the concert had been over, my co-worker had taken me backstage, apparently he knew one of the bands and a couple of the dancers. As I went around with him congratulating people I hadn't been paying attention to, I looked around, hoping to see the girl with the beautiful appearance. When we made to leave, I had begun to pout since I hadn't see the girl at all, but I suppose someone up in the sky had been paying attention to my silent pleading because as I looked around one last time, I had bumped into someone, but not just any someone, the girl I had been looking for. Up close, she was breathtakingly beautiful; her features were firm yet gentle, her eyes a milky brown that sung with kindness. From that moment on as we clumsily steadied the other and muttered rushed and flustered sorrys, I knew she was my dream girl.

It's now been two blissful years, I'm pretty sure I now have a permanent tan, and I'm getting ready to possibly propose to the girl of my dreams, Danielle.

As my phone rings in my pocket, I don't question why someone is calling me so late, I know it's just Dani. She's currently on tour with the UK Xfactor tour, so she's behind me a couple hours. The call is short and sweet as usual. She reports to me in a hushed yet excited voice as she explains to me everything she's done and seen and what she is expected to be doing for the next few days. She has a week break coming up, and we've discussed that she will stay in the United Kingdom for it to visit some family members. Danielle is originally from a small town in England like me, she moved out to Florida with me after 8 months of dating. I was glad to have her here, it filled the empty void I had started feeling. Now that she was off and doing her job she adored and I loved to watch her do it just as much, the loneliness never came. I knew deep in my mind that I had someone to live with, they were just presently on a business trip.

I slowly walked back up the beach, feeling sleep tug at my consciousness. It had been a long day at work today; co-workers were fighting over who got what and they had asked me to be the one to help them sort it out. They were from another section of the publishing house than I was, I specialized in the accounting part of this business, they were all from either the printing section or report section. No matter what I picked, it was at complete random because I had no clue which assignment was the best. After I handed them all back a file, some seemed content while others were less so. I had shrugged and told them I was one of the worst people to ask to help sort things out. As I walked away, I heard a few of them mutter how it was stupid to ask someone who knew nothing about their job description to help them solve the conflict. Later on during the day, my boss had thrown me a heap of folders, the papers inside falling out. He was flustered and looked like he had been pulling at the minimum hairs left on his balding head; the company had over spent publishing an author's book and he wanted me to help him fix the damage before the head of the company found out and fired both our asses for not noticing. It had taken us all the rest of the day, skipping lunch and staying a little over time to finally find a loop hole to a solution.

Unlocking the door, I'm welcomed by no sound besides the small aquarium against the half wall separating the kitchen from the living room. My apartment is small but is open and actually has quite a lot of room. There's a half bath at the beginning of the hall that leads to a master bedroom with an unsuite and much smaller spare bedroom that is currently being used as an office and storage space. After getting ready for bed and sending Danielle a quick goodnight text, I settle into the covers and allow sleep to transport me to a land of all sorts of possibilities.

 

The morning sun shone through the windshield as I drove to work the next morning. When I woke this morning, an eerie feeling settled deep within my bones. It was unsettling to say the least, and I couldn't shake it off. To make it worse, the streets seemed oddly empty, the morning traffic quickened to a peaceful rhythm instead of a slow lull. As I came up to a green light, the siren of an ambulance rung through the humid morning air. The car beside me pulled to the left while I pulled to the right, following the role the cars behind me were playing. The ambulance rushed by and I leisurely pulled back into the lane fully after checking to make sure some idiot wasn't getting a free pass by tail gating the ambulance. The light was still green, so I continued to drive forward into the intersection, the cars behind following slowly as they pulled back into their lanes. When my car was almost out of the intersection, I heard a loud and long beep. It only took a second after the beep rung out and it to register in my thought process for my bumper to be hit. The steering jerked and I tried to keep it from not moving as my car swung, being lead by it's back end. My arms grew weak and terribly achy as soon as I gripped the steering wheel to try and keep the car straight, so my arms flung off and felt limp as I gripped my seat belt and squeezed my eyes closed. 

Breathe Liam. Stay calm, you're alright. Some bastard just nicked your car's rear end, all is go-

My mental pep talk stopped as soon my head was flung to hit against my door window. Searing pain erupted from the point where my head made contact. I felt it vibrate across my skull, down my neck and into my back. 

I was vaguely aware of sirens getting louder as they approached, but everything seemed to be muted a little. I blinked slowly, almost as if I was in a dream. I watched as a lady got out of a banged up car, looked around and once she had spotted me, ran over. She looked in through the window my head still rested on, from the corner of my eye I could see smudged blood on the glass. Her face seemed to contort into agony along with the panic that was already traced onto her pretty face. She looked around and started yelling and waving her hands in the air like some circus performer. I couldn't hear her words only the frantic pitch from her voice. Where were the paramedics? I know they must be here because I'm almost positive I can see blue and red flashing across the hood of my car and the lady's face. 

I wasn't feeling too well now; my skull felt like it would burst open as my head throbbed angrily with each beat of my heart, my whole body was numb like I didn't have one and my stomach was protesting as if I'd eaten too many spicy foods in one sitting. 

As my eyelids drooped tiredly against my will, I knew I had to stay awake but my body was protesting. I saw a man in a dark navy uniform run over to my car door, pulling a stretcher with another man trailing closely behind before I bowed my head and my eyes shut on their own accord. 

 

When I wake in a stark white room smelling of Windex and disinfectant, I'm momentarily stunned. I know I've been in an accident, but I don't know how bad it was. Were there other cars, how hurt were they, or possibly more importantly, how damaged was I? I lifted the white bed sheet and examined my legs; the left thigh was bruised lightly and a few small scrapes decorated the flesh. With a wiggle of my toes, any possible worry floods out my ears; as far as I can asses, I'm fine. A nurse walks in and is startled to see my eyes open but bids me a good evening. She disappears back out into the room after checking my motor skills and reflexes, returning shortly after with a plastic cup of water and ice. 

"Alright Mr. Payne, everything seems to be in working order according to your chart and test results. Do you remember how you got here?"

"I was in a car crash?"

"Yes. Your doctor will be by shortly to explain more to you. For now please stay in bed and rest. If you need to use the bathroom, please call for assistance as you're recovering from a concussion." I nod and smile politely as she leaves. I sit and wait. I wonder what time it is in the afternoon, how long it's been since the accident and what kind of injuries I've acquired from the accident. As I yearn for my phone to check the time and day and maybe check on how my family and Danielle are doing, a balding man with snow white hair along the sides of his head walks in. 

"Hello Liam, I am your doctor for your stay this time around. I'm Dr. Andrews. Now, Jenny, the young nurse on call for you, has checked your vitals out and notified me you are aware of how you got here, yes?"

"Sounds right."

"Great. So, you were involved in a three car accident. The third car you hit, but you are not being held responsible as when you struck the third car, your car was spinning and you obviously had no control over it. The driver who hit you was a young lady trying to run away from her abusive husband. He had been on her tail and she thought she could get through the intersection cleanly, but apparently that was not the case. Her soon to be ex-husband is being charged and held responsible for the crash as he had influenced the first driver into reckless driving. 

"As a result of the car accident, you banged your head against the seat belt junction on your door and a got a concussion. Your face ended up getting a few good cuts near your hair line because your windshield had been broken and both your wrist were lightly sprained. We assumed you injured your wrists when you tried to take control back of your car. You can leave when you want tomorrow. Keep in mind that you will be fairly sore, especially your arms and neck. That's all for now. I will be by before you leave tomorrow to give you your prescription to help manage the pain." I nod and smile at the good man gratefully. He nods curtly, letting a friendly smile slip onto his face before he leaves the room. 

As I fiddle with my arms, stretching out my wrists as I wiggle my fingers around, the nurse, Jenny, comes back in with a bin labeled with my name on duck tape. 

"Here you go Mr. Payne. Figured you'd like your phone to play with to pass some time before your pain meds knock you out again for the night. Notify me if any of your belongings are missing or if you need anything."

"I will. Thank you, Jenny." She chuckles and nods before lightly slipping out of the room.

 

The next few days passed by with a sluggish boredom. I wasn't to go to work for a month, and even then, I wasn't looking forward to using the bus system while I waited to be able to pick up my new car. I had met with the lady I ended up crashing in to; she was extremely friendly, kindhearted and quite spunky. Her name was Elizabeth, she is happily married with two kids, one who she had adopted. We met for coffee one morning and I thought it hilarious the way she started fussing about me since she remembered the state I had been in just after the crash. She was relieved to know noting major had happened to me, which I thought odd. Throughout our meet up, I came to the terms that she was just a generally caring person, even if it was someone she didn't know. When I apologized for hitting her, she'd laughed it off with a wave. She informed me cheerily that her husband was allowing her to buy a new car since it was more worth it to buy a new car then try to fix one that was seeing its last days. Before we departed we exchanged numbers and opted to meet again. I feel like Elizabeth is one of those few who are easy to get along with and people just generally adore or like. 

Now sitting in my apartment and eagerly awaiting the moment the door would open to reveal my beautiful girlfriend, I watch an old rerun of a kid's show I use to adore. Despite how idiotic and impossible some of the phrases and ideas the characters came up with, I find myself laughing along merrily. It fells so good to laugh, yet it awakes a soft aching in my left side as it is still sore. 

"Well aren't you a happy sight." I jump at the sound of a soft voice and look up to see the person I've been counting the days to see. 

"Babe!" she smiles widely at me as I do the same, rising quickly and ignoring the protesting ache my limbs are showing to engulf her in my arms. I hug her close and hum appreciatively as she snuggles her face into my chest just below my collar bone. I shiver a little as the cold tip of her nose brushes my exposed skin thanks to the vnevk sweater I've dressed in today. I bury my nose into the hair by her ear and inhale lightly, breathing in the smell of familiarity and roses. We pull back enough just to look at each other before we lace our lips together in a kiss that sends butterflies roaming around my stomach.

"I've really missed you." I say as our lips part, a slight blush is gracing Danielle's features and I'm sure there's one on my cheeks too. She hums and sighs dreamily before laying her head on my shoulder. 

"I've missed you too. A lot, especially having you in bed when I'm cold and wanting someone to cuddle." I chuckle and pet her hair, smoothing my hand down the curls and bring my hand back up to trail my fingers lightly around the back of her neck. 

"Now, tell me all about your dancing adventures so far." She looks up and smiles broadly at me, showing off her teeth. I gently tug on her hand and lead her over to the living room. As we reach the couch, she takes hold of my upper arms and guides me the way she wants to sit. Once I'm sitting, she smirks, a devious glint appearing in her eyes and climbs on top of me so she straddles my lap. 

"How about I show you." My eyes widen as I feel a shot of lust run through my nerves. 

"Oh my."

 

As we lay in bed, the downy comforter laying across my hips lazily as it's wrapped around Danielle across her upper chest, she snuggles in to me. 

"Yeah, I've missed that part of you too." I can't help but let out a loud cackle, slightly twitching into a half upright position. As my fit of laughter calms, I look over at Dani to see an amused smile. "I'm being serious. But my horny needs aside, how are you feeling? When I heard about the crash before I went on stage I messed up the whole routine but once I explained it to the tour manager he'd reluctantly said it was alright. And how are the others involved? I was told two other cars were involved." 

"Awe I'm sorry about messing up your dance."

"Liam it wasn't your fault from what I was told." 

I sigh and push myself up to sit against the head rest. "Yeah, it wasn't. What I was told that had happened was a lay was trying to get away, like escape, from her abusive husband. He'd gotten in his car and followed her. When she got to the intersection where it happened, she had a red light and it was relatively clear despite me. She thought by the time she'd get to the lights I would have cleared the intersection by then. Turns out her assumption was wrong and she ended up knocking the back of my car while she was traveling at almost 80 miles an hour. 

"My car ended up spinning and I hit another lady, Elizabeth, on the back left hand door. The abusive husband is apparently being charged and held responsible for the whole shabam."

"But it was the first lady who had hit you that started it. Why isn't she being held responsible?"

"Because since she was trying to get away from an abusive relationship, the cops and investigators believe she was under influence. Which I guess she basically was. "

Danielle nods and looks thoughtful for a moment before speaking, a trace of a smirk spreading on her soft lips. "So this Elizabeth girl, do I have to make sure she keeps her mitts off my man?" I chuckle as I shake my head. 

"No, no. She's happily married with two kids." 

Danielle nods, seeming content. "Good, good. Now, about those horny needs."

"God, you're gonna break me before you leave to England for the rest of your time off." She smiles widely and shrugs. 

"I've missed you is all."

"Yes. Me or my dick" she laughs as her eyes darken and she eyes my bare chest.


	2. An Ocean of Fast Actions and Confused Mumblings of the Mind

As I say goodbye to Danielle, it feels bittersweet. She's only been home for two days of her vacation, and the rest will be spent in England like it was originally planned. It's bittersweet because although I'm sad she's leaving, in a way I'm almost glad because the constant sex will stop. Don't get me wrong, sex is great, but it has been non-stop. I'm sore, everything at junction of my legs are sore. I didn't think it could happen to this extent or at least last this long. I feel as though I've been whacked in the groin fifty times over. I look over to Danielle, sitting with a leg crossed over the other, bouncing the lifted knee up and down as she scans through a magazine. You'd think she'd be sore too, but she'd assured me she wasn't. I don't understand how she isn't, it's not like she's used to rough sex or slow love making nearly 12 hours a day, or at least, she shouldn't be. I look down at my lap and frown at that thought. 

What if she's? I shake my head determinedly - no, she wouldn't do anything like that. Danielle is a sweet girl, very faithful to her commitments. A bell dings before a female's voice is booming through the intercom above, calling Danielle's flight. I hear her sigh as she puts the magazine in her small carry on bag, and stands. I stand as well and take her hand gently in mine as she leads me to where she'll board her first transfer flight. The only reason I'm able to be this far into the airport without also boarding a flight is because Danielle's dad has some sort of connections with all sorts of airports. Danielle tugs my hand so I step towards her, allowing her to wrap her arms around my neck and pull me into a tight hug.

"I'm going to miss you so much babe," she says slightly muffled as she continues to dig her cold nose into the dip of my neck. I chuckle and hug her tightly back. 

"Oh Dani, I'll miss you too. Have a safe flight, alright? Call me when you land in England so I know my baby has arrived safely." She pulls her head away without breaking the embrace and giggle softly while nodding her head.

"Course. Bye, love you."

"Love you," I smile at her before gently pecking her lips and watching her head into the boarding tunnel. I walk out of the airport with a light smile, welcoming the burn of the bright sun before jumping into the rental car. The drive back is peaceful, the views pretty picturesque as the sparkling ocean swoons to the left of the highway, palm trees to the right. I have the radio on, blasting am Imagine Dragons song. I sing along despite my lack of talent, but why should I really care? The rest of the day is mine and to with as I please. Before heading back home, I decide to stop by work and see how everything is going. 

There's a flurry of questions and people checking if I'm OK. I couldn't help but laugh at their panicked faces, I had to keep assuring them I was perfectly fine. Yes I still had a concussion, but it was very minor by now, I only had three pills left to take over the next three days. There was the normal bickering and drama for who got what, in-office relationships that were supposed to be not allowed and I learned I had a lot of files that were backed up, so I decided to take them home with me. At my job, my description was to help handle the financial needs of the Florida office, but to also act as an actually publisher. I was to read over stories and novels to determine if they fit the protocol. Protocol was pretty laid back, I just had to make sure the author had proper grammar, the story flowed and determine whether or not people would actually buy the book. I said goodbye to everyone who had come over to me during the short visit before I left. When I got out the car, I mentally thanked whoever gave me the idea to bring my briefcase. After I'd put the files safely away in the briefcase, I drove home. 

The apartment returned to it's quiet singing. Though the faint smell of Danielle's perfume still lingered in the sheets and stuck to the bathroom walls, the familiar and welcoming scent of the place filled my lungs when I opened the door. I sighed blissfully as I flung my shoes lazily into the closet, dropped my briefcase my the door and collapsed on the couch, content on the idea to waste my afternoon away by watching crappy TV. Eventually the growling in my stomach became too painful to ignore and I made a yummy stir-fry with the left over chicken breast that was for last night's supper.

 

 

The next day was spent shuffling through multiple papers, reading the odd story while organizing the upcoming spending needs for the next two months. I came across a frightening amount of shitty stories; how they got passed the rough editor, I have no clue. One terrible one was about a lesbian couple and their coming out to the world. One had been famous while the other was classified as your every day girl. The plot and ideas that were trying to get across throughout the story weren't half bad, and I personally loved the odd same sex novel; gave you a way to look at things in a different light. But the writing had been sloppy, sentences ending too shortly or dragging out for too long. I huffed and tossed the file for that story into the 'hell no pile'. Shame, really it was. The story had some major potential. 

I came across something similar, another same sex couple, but this one was about two celebrities that existed in real life. Weren't those called fan written stories or something of the like? I wrote a small note that perhaps if the writer didn't make it seem as though it was written by a die hard fan, changed the names and maybe some of the small details about the men, she could easily pass it off as a nonchalant story about two men in love. The writer themselves would know who it was really about and whoever they wanted to tell. 

I read through ten more before the clock ticked almost 9:30pm. I looked up at the old grandfather clock in the corner of the living room as I sat perched over the coffee table, legs folded underneath and sheets of paper and files littering the floor. When had it become so late? Last I checked it was noon. Sighing I stood and felt my knees groan from being sat Indian style for too long. I quickly tidied up the small mess and left the folders on the coffee table, waiting to be looked over another time when I was too bored to do anything else. 

After I'd swung by a late night pizza place two blocks from my home, I walked back in the silent night as I slowly munched on my last piece of pizza. The night air, despite its muggy warmth, brought a chill that scrapped its mingy hands up the calves of my legs, slithered its way up my back and gripped its greedy hands on my bones. I shiver and pull the sides of my button up shirt closer to myself. There's an eerie feeling surround me and I feel paranoia sinking in. Last time I felt something like this I ended up getting a car accident. I look around as I reach the path that leads to the beach. No one is around, the homes and buildings facing the crashing water barely illuminated. Odd. There's normally at least almost half of the lights on in the homes. I puff out a breath of air as I reach the beach, the light beige sand bleached to a harsh white under the dreary moonlight. I slip my shoes off, my socks following to be stuffed deep into my shoes, before I continue. The sand is warm and feels euphoric against the achy soles of my feet. Walking along the sand at night always washes a cool and ease over me. There's just something about the smooth whoosh of the waves hitting the small rocks that make up the sand, the salty breath the wind carries, the cleansing feeling off the moon lighting your path and back, that is settling. Despite my fear of physically going into the oceanic water, I appreciate its aqua beauty from afar.

Looking out across the darkened water, I frown. The waves are uncharacteristically heavy and harsh for this hour. Secretly I muse that someone must have pissed off God, but then again, I've never been the religious type besides wearing a cross for my Nanny. Squinting my eyes, I look out further ahead of me where a rock hill stands, slowly running away from the sand to stand in the water. If I swam still, I would have followed many of the beach's divers, jumping off the rock's edge to get a good distanced jump from the water. But out where the rock stopped in the water, there was an increase in the amount of splashing that you normally saw when the waves jumped up to lick at the rock's surface. 

I furrowed my eyebrows together in confusion as I continued to walk closer to the commotion, picking my pace up slightly. Yeah the waters were choppier than usual, but it wouldn't cause that much fuss. Briefly I wondered if an animal like a dauphin or something of the like was caught in a net or misjudged its distance and for brought up too close to the shore for its comfort. I entertained those thoughts until I hear it. A shrill sound that shattered my heart and my thoughts collectively. Out of everyone, I was the worse person to find someone drowning while the waters were this nasty.

I break into a run, stumbling over my feet while trying to grab my phone from my back pocket. As I reach the edge where the water was licking the sand, I'm connected to 911 and frantically shout into the receiver. They assure me help will be by quickly. My breath quickens as I begin to panicking slightly, the urge to just jump into the Luke warm water and save the person, but my fear of the water is swallowing that urge hungrily. 

I scratch at the skin of my forearm, biting away the skin on my lip. I decide to ignore the anxiety that's starting to build as I slip my shoes, pants and top off. Emptying my pockets and throwing the contents to hide between my shirt and jeans. A shudder runs up my back despite the warm weather as I step closer to the water. I take one more deep breath before I shove the fear the best I can back down my throat and start running into the water, fiercely swimming once I can no longer touch the sand comfortably with my feet, grateful all those old swimming lessons were still good as new in my mind. 

As the water hit my skin I can feel my muscle freezing up, my breathing accelerating to come out in quick, short puffs as my mind and body panic. My mind is strong but so is the paranoia of past events recurring. As I reach the person, I almost shriek as they stop struggling and their head dips underneath the dark water. I don't think about my next actions until I'm back on the sand. My body is sore, my breathing laboured like I've never experienced, and my hair has fallen into my face, the gel keeping the longer part out of my eyes washed out when I dove underneath to save the person from drowning. 

Despite all my problems, I'm bent over this person, this boy around my age with black hair and mocha tanned skin, performing CPR to try and get him breathing and awake on his own again. I feel joy and relief flood my senses momentarily when he starts choking up the water. I turn him on his side as he spits up the salty water in his lungs and grimace, knowing how painful spitting salt water back up your esophagus can be. Once he's done coughing, he rolls into his back, giving a defeated sigh as he pants, his arms and legs spread out beside him. He looks like a beached starfish, a much, much larger starfish than the ones in the ocean though of course. 

After watching his chest like a predictor watching it's prey for nearly five minutes, I'm reassured he's ok. With that, I become aware of my body again and note just how labored my breathing is, much more than the guy's is, or had been. My body is frozen and rigid despite the heat, my hair sticking to my forehead in wet strands. I feel myself fall to the sand from my sitting position and curl into a ball. I close my eyes tightly and fight the urge to cry, but I fail, as I always do when I have a panic attack. I feel as though I may be calming down, but dreadfully the water ends up licking my foot and sends me further overboard. 

I faintly feel a hand on my shoulder and can't fight back as they gently lay me on my back. My eyes find dark brown eyes, fear present in the man's attractive face. Is this guy, the one I saved? His clothes are wet and his hair is still dripping, some droplets making it to land on me. I see his mouth moving but my ears are ringing, I can't make out what he's saying. I try to reach out to him, hold his upper arm or even touch his face, even if it'll creep him out. It'll help keep me grounded and help fight the blackness threatening to take me under. Whenever I used to have panic attacks regularly after my accident, if I held on to someone, got that skin to skin contact I could calm myself and pull out of the threatening blackout. But I've waited to long for that simple touch. My heart is furiously pushing blood throughout my body as I lie cold and wet on the warm sand; eyes blown wide in fear and staring at the beautiful man I had saved. I can't figure out why, why I felt I needed to save him. Paramedics had been on their way, the hospital was just a few blocks over. But that hadn't been enough. I had wanted, needed, to save him. Confusion blooms in my already foggy mind as I continue to return my gaze into the seemingly comforting eyes of this stranger. I want to yell at him, curse at him and tell him to look what he's done to me. He just had to be stupid enough to either go out swimming or mess around the rocks, whichever way he had gotten in to the water, when it was this angry. It was his fault my body was panicking. His fault that I had face the one thing I was most afraid of head on, cold turkey. Despite my displeased thoughts, I couldn't find it in myself to really blame the guy. Maybe he's new, came out for a night stroll as I often did, and grew curious of the cliff many teenagers and young adults sought adrenaline rushes through jumping off of it. Maybe he'd slipped, and couldn't swim. He didn't seem to really be fighting the waves as someone who could swim would have. I mentally slap myself across the face, wishing I had more control of myself rather than just my intrusively annoying thoughts. Seriously, why was I not really all that mad at this random person? If I could feel my face completely, I'm sure it would be set into a deep frown.

 

Soon enough, I found myself laying in a hospital bed, promptly laying under a thing white sheet in my soaking boxers and a nice layer of sand grazing the bed. Some had made it's way into areas hidden by my red boxers, a statement I became painfully aware of when I had tried to adjust my position once the medication to calm me down had started taking effect. It was now maybe two hours after I had woken up, being knocked out my anesthetics isn't as fun as it sounds. I knew I was in the emergency section of this hospital by the distant moans and wails of other adults. I sighed and tried pulling the hair resting on my forehead, just enough to reach into my eyes, away but grimaced and pulled my hand back. My hair felt greasy and dirty yet dry and stiff at the same time. Stupid salt water, I thought.

I sigh and looked around the make-shift room, at the flimsy sheets that divides me from other patients. I wanted to get up, to leave. But I had an IV in my arm and I defiantly wasn't going to try to take that out myself. I wanted out because I didn't need to be here. I had a panic attack because I was forced into one of my greatest fears by a gorgeous man drowning. I groan as I fist the white sheets angrily. Why do I keep associating him with verbs that I would use on females, mainly Danielle. He is a guy, I'm a guy. I don't particularly have anything against same sex couples, it's just I'm not bisexual or completely gay. I've never thought about another man like that before. Yes ok, I will admit I can agree with others when they point out a guy with a nice face, but never had I thought another guy was gorgeous or beautiful on my own accord. I know I'm starting to doubt whether I really just had a concussion from that car accident, maybe it jumbled some things around.  
Realization hits and I'm even more frustrated. I'm probably still in here, occupying a bed that would be more useful to someone else, because I left here only a little over three weeks ago with a concussion that had reduced enough for it to be safe for me to return to my normal life, minus working. They had probably run more test for safety reasons as they would put it, but I can't help feel a little angry at myself for making things worse; who knows how much all these medical bills are going to add up to.

 

It's maybe five hours after I've woken up from the anesthetics that the curtain that separates me from seeing all the nurses run around, opens. I frown and try to remember why the nurse looks so familiar. Dark, probably black, hair shaved on the sides, a small quiff keeping the hair off his forehead. His skin is tanned, like a mocha coffee colour, and he seems put off, nervous looking even? He clears his throat as he picks up the chart at the end of my bed and quickly flip through the pages.

"Well, Liam, I'm not sure why we've kept you hear for so long," He frowns slightly before putting the clip-board back and grasping the end of the bed in his slender hands. He blushes a little, and I wonder why he'd be embarrassed around me, I'm the one only in boxers under a thin sheet. I start to blush. "How are you feeling?"

"Um, fine, thank you." He nods and looks down to the mattress.

"I want to thank you for saving me Liam. I wouldn't be breathing right now if it weren't for you." I gasp and see him nod as he sheepishly chuckles, his cheeks growing a delicate pink again. "I slipped when I was up on that cliff. I can't swim. God knows how I stayed up that long before you grabbed me." I nod and think he's done as he stands straight, gives me polite nod and swiftly turns on the heels of his feet. As soon as his back is to me, he sighs and his perfect posture falters so his shoulders are hunched. "It's my fault, obviously, that you had that panic attack. If I hand't been so stupid and just waited till day to explore, then maybe you wouldn't have had the problem of suffering like that."

I was lost for words, truly. I was expecting or be made, furious, at the guy who I had saved. But I just can't. "I, um.."

"Nurse Malik, or Zayn. Whatever you want to call me."

"Right," I nod even thought is back is still to me," Zayn, you don't have to feel guilty. It was bound to happen for me to find someone struggling in the water, after all I do take-"

"No, I should feel guilty. My boyfriend suffers from panic attacks, I know the pain it causes him." I'm at a loss for words again so I simply nod at his back. He turns back towards the bed and strides over to the side of bed. He puts his warm hand on my shoulder and leans down so his face is close to mine. "Let me make it up to you? Come have dinner back at mine, Louis would be happy to finally have some company."

"I, uh, I don't know if that's a go-"

"Please? It'll help aid the guilt and I swear I'm not trying to anything but a friendly gesture. I can even have Louis come over right now and tell you the same." 

I shake my head and agree to coming over. He gives me this huge and adorable smile, all white teeth and tongue pressed up against the back of his teeth before he swiftly hugs me. He comes back maybe ten minutes late with my belongings I left on the beach and a slip of paper with his address and his number. I change into my clothes once the IV is taken out and the privacy curtain closed again. I sign release papers and soon I'm making the small walk back to my apartment complex, wondering what I just agreed to as my shoes hit the hot pavement.


End file.
